Monday, July 14, 2014

Let's Give This Another Go


Without actually looking, I think my last post was around the time Jack was born. That actually makes me really sad. Thinking of everything that's been lost kind of actually sucks. Damn. I guess all you can do is start fresh and continue, right? While looking back, I know I have always used blogging as more of an outlet. Somewhere that I can put whatever I want and not care who reads it because its mine. Mine to laugh at, cry at, and find some crazy sense of strength with at times. I also found strength in reading others blogs. The real life, nitty gritty blogs that have emotion and show that life is a roller coaster. And thats okay. So, here goes. I'm going to get back into this.

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Saturday, December 29, 2012

Jackson Troy

Now, while Jack is sleeping, seems as good a time as any to try and get his birth story put down.

My doctor got approval for me to be induced on the 21st instead of the 24th. We all knew if I went the 24th he wouldn't be there to deliver. I was so grateful when he said he wanted to ask because we all had been through a lot together, and he wanted to see this through.
We were both so excited, but I'll admit, knowing an exact date scared me a little. That Friday Jon and I finished up a few last minute things at home before heading out for a couple errands. We packed the Jeep knowing we wouldn't be back home that night. We stopped at the bank to get some cash for Jon to use while cooped up at the hospital. While there, we said hi to my mom which just made me more nervous. I know I was oddly quiet because Jon kept asking me if I was okay. After our errands Jon decided to take me for a drive since we had about an hour to kill. He knows I love drives, and usually go on them when stressed. After driving a while, I noticed we were close to my Grandma Reeder's grave. My eyes immediately filled with tears, but I didn't want to say anything about it to Jon. I was really surprised when he pulled into the cemetery and asked which one was hers. He thought it would be nice for me to stop and see her before going to delivery. I married an amazing man, who some how always knows just what I need. This is a pretty terrible picture because I was in complete sobs by the time I got to her headstone. But I love it.


After stopping to see Grandma Reeder, we took the long way back to the hospital. It was probably a good thing, since I needed a few minutes to get myself together.
I checked into L&D at 6PM. We, and when I say we I mean Jon, chose a room right across from the nurses station. I know he chose it be close to his work friends if waiting got boring, but I'm so grateful that was the room we were in. I was started on antibiotics and pitocin right away. Then we sat, talked, texted, watched TV, and sat some more... I progressed slowly at first. Almost no one knew we were even there, which now, I'm glad it was that way. Around 8 or so, I believe, my doctor came in and broke my water. Fluid was clear, and everything looked great to start really progressing. My Mom and sister-in-law, Valerie asked to stop by and got there around nine-thirty or so. We talked and joked, I was having contractions but nothing I couldn't focus through. Shortly after they got there my nurse came in and decided to check again. She thought my contractions should be much stronger that long after breaking my water. While checking she found another sack of water, after breaking that things started moving very fast. With in 30 minutes my contractions turned from something I could concentrate through, to something that took everything to focus through. That's when I looked at Jon and told him I needed the epidural now. The nurse told me I handled them very well, I sure didn't feel like I did. Jon was amazing, he knows me so well. He knows when I'm in pain I do one of two things, I laugh or go completely quiet. This was a completely quiet moment. He stood there and just held my hand.
After the epidural, my blood pleasure dropped. With the blood pressure drop, Jacks heart rate dropped. I can't tell you a whole lot of what happened, because I just felt like falling to sleep and everything went a little hazy. But here's what remember... Six people ran into the room including my doctor, the anesthesiologist, my nurse, and a few others. They threw oxygen on me, and I asked my nurse if Jack was okay. She replied by saying, "He's just a little mad at us right now, but we are going to fix that." Then I heard Jon tell me not to fall asleep. I know they flipped me on my side. And I remember answering questions by nodding my head and raising two fingers as much as I could. When all that was over, I was told Jack and I had a small reaction to the epidural. Since his heart rate dropped so low, they gave him some time to rest before starting the pitocin again. After his heart rate was stable, I was given more pitocin, and completely ready to get this going. I knew it would still be a while, and since I had the epidural, the nurse told me to try and get as much sleep as I could. I tried, and know I got a few naps in here and there because Jon teased about my snoring at one point. (Will not miss that about pregnancy by the way) but all through the night, nurse after nurse would come in because Jack still was having a few problems keeping his heart rate up. It randomly dropped to the 60's, 50's and at one point I looked over and saw it at 46. They started an amino infusion, which pumped fluid back up into the uterus to fake the feeling of water still being there for Jack. That helped him a lot, but we still had to change positions and start and stop pitocin for hours at a time to keep him happy. During the stress of everything, Jack started having bowel movements in the uterus. When the nurse saw that, she told me we wouldn't be able to have him go to my chest after delivery. And depending how things looked, Jon may not be able to cut the cord. We were both fine with this, we both would rather have him taken care of first. At around 8:30 or so it was finally time to push. I pushed for a couple hours, and my doctor said he wanted me to pushed through a couple more contractions then He may need to use a vacuum. I didn't know at the time, but Jack's heart rate was dropping lots at this point, that's when my doctor decided an episiotomy was the best choice for Jack, it would be best to get him here quick with out doing a c section.
My epidural was perfect the whole time. I could wiggle my toes, but only feel pressure. I knew what was happening the whole time, and love that part of my delivery.
Jackson was finally here, and thankfully wasn't crying yet. My doctor told Jon he could cut the cord if he did it fast. I'm glad Jon got to do that, as for going to the chest, I would have liked it. But I don't wish he could have. I was so tired after all that time, and know he needed to be take care of by the NICU nurse and the respiratory therapist. After checking him, they stimulated him and he started crying.



Jackson Troy weighed 8 pounds 3 ounces was 21 1/2 inches long (Jon wont let you forget the half) and came at 11:52 AM after 18 hours of labor. He looks so big in this picture compared to the baby we brought home.


He was swollen and had a mushroom top head and is completely perfect in every way! He also had pretty perfect skin, not blotchy at all.


Because of the hard labor, the stress he was under, his heart rate dropping, and the bowl movements made during labor and all through delivery Jack had to go to the NICU. He was at risk of infection, and had to be there a minimum of 48 hours. I can't imagine my baby being there for weeks, or months at a time. It was the hardest thing for me to hand him over to the NICU nurse and know she wouldn't give him back to go to my room with me. Then to go through all that, and Jon and I go to a room and sit by ourselves.
One night when Jon and I went to visit him,there was a gift on his stand. Another NICU family had had their baby girl there a few weeks earlier and wanted the current NICU families to know people had been there and they were thinking of them. Even through Jack was only there for a short time, it meant a lot to us to have that little gift and note. I want to return the favor to NICU families in the coming weeks.



This is the NICU board, there is one in every baby's room. The plan lets the family know what is being worked on, or a goal for the day or week. We had to take a picture when we saw his plan had been changed to "Home for the Holidays!"



And here is my little man, ready to come home. We were so blessed that he was able to come home with us. I always felt calm that he would, but had that scared feeling in the back of mind. Now I've learned that scared feeling is just permanently there.... Maybe it will go away when he leaves for college... Probably not.


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Wednesday, December 12, 2012

You've been served...

Jack has been served with a 3 day Pay or Vacate.. For those of you that don't know what this is: in an apartment home community if you don't pay your rent, there is a very good chance you will be asked to "Pack or Pay". If you live at my community, it is me who will ask you to do so. So it only seemed right to give Jackson the same treatment. After all, it is fair housing.


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Waiting Game is my Least Favorite Game...

Have I ever told you I'm a VERY impatient person.  Mostly because I just am.  Christmas, Birthday.. I don't care if you tell me what I'm getting. I love surprises, but I HATE waiting... So I like to just know. Jon has done an amazing job with me, I actually get surprised for Christmas these days. I'm getting better and better every year.  However, learning to be patient for a baby... Not as easy. Not really at all.
The advice is getting repetitive.. "Oh get sleep now, cause you won't when he's here." Do people not remember the end of their pregnancy's, If they slept at this stage, I applaud them! But I'm sure I'm getting no more now then I will get then.  At least when he is here, my two hours of laying down between feedings will comfortable.  "Eat spicy food, go walking, run stairs, are you really doing everything to get him here." No, I thought he may just come easier if I really relaxed and did the bed rest kind of thing. Yes, I'm trying all those dumb suggestions, and all I can chalk it down to is he just isn't ready.  Like my Grandma told Jon when he first met me. "No one tells Chelsea what to do."  Looks like this kid has picked that up..  mixed with the Dattage stubbornness, we are in for a treat.
My due date is 4 days away, and I have 2 days of work left. So if he wont come on his own, at the most I have 12 days left. Yes, your math is right. Christmas Eve. Better then than never I guess. As long as he gets here healthy and safe.    UGh......

Friday, November 23, 2012

Giving Thanks...

Unless you were hiding under a rock, you know yesterday was Thanksgiving.  For most, this has become a day of planning which stores to go to at what times. My family always spends the day going over the ads a few times to say the least, but they never really go out to do the dreaded shopping part.  Once every few years someone will venture into the crowds. I, in fact went out for my first time this year..  Never again. Probably wasn't the smartest going nine months pregnant, but Jon thought it would be a great story if my water broke in the store. Thankfully (And I mean that) it didn't happen.  We were home by 11:30, I felt that it had to be more like 3 AM, but Jon got his prize.
As I sat in line with the cute older gal in front of me and the uber drunk, loud, obnoxious chick behind me; I couldn't help but think about something my Grandma had said this year during dinner. She started by asking me what I was thankful for. Which was easy... I have had three years to think about this, and every Thanksgiving I go back to this very thought. I'm Thankful I still get to spend time with my whole family.  Some at the table didn't understand that.  They saw a smaller crowd this year, and to them my "whole family" wasn't there. How quickly some forget what our family went through just a few years ago. Or maybe they just don't understand how much of a blessing it still is to my immediate family to have my Dad still with us.  I am so grateful that my Son will meet my Dad and the man he is named after. There is a reason we chose that name, I hope as Jack grows he will see every single one of those reasons.  I may put my Father on a high horse, But I believe Jack is very lucky to carry the name Troy. And I hope he lives up to everything Jon and I love in that name.
 Then my Grandma went to Jon, after he shared a thought she shared her feelings.  I think this is the first time I had seen my Grandma do this.  I LOVED IT. She shared how thankful she is that we all still want to spend time with each other. She shared how amazing it was to her that ALL her children and grandchildren are temple worthy.  This got me thinking, because she was right. How many families have that?  How many families have every member stay active and worthy for the blessing the temple offers. I don't believe there are many.  Yes we have our differences, but we are all in this for the long haul.  Our feelings won't suddenly change when we pass.  We are still us. And we will all be together. It's amazing.
My Grandma also pointed out her children, and how grateful she was for them, that they were able to keep their families active.  I believe my Grandmother has had a huge role in this. She always has her doors open and wants us to feel as though we can come and go as we please. We all know she will always be there. She makes every single person in the family feel important in a different way. With me, she was always more laid back, (which I'm sure she is with others as well) I grew up calling her G-ma (which cracks me up, cause I now have another cousin who also calls her that.  Both on our own accord, both for different reasons I'm sure) or "My Sexy Grandma" This lady can dress, she has amazing style. Another thing I love about her, she is not afraid to tell any of us we are out of line.  Although I  believe there are times she would like to say something and doesn't.  Keeping family around is more important to her at times. With out her I wonder where our family would be. Would we still get together for Holidays? Probably not. She is our glue..  I love her so much. I am so grateful for her.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

The weekly's...

It has come..  I have started weekly appointments.  Everything has gone by pretty quickly actually.  I still feel pretty good, I think (for me at least) this has been the worst part.  There isn't much room left in there and I'm always asking myself where this kid is going to go for the last little bit. Things are changing, you have all seen the swelling that is taking place. Its in my feet, hands, and I have been noticing a little more in my face the last couple of days.. B. E. A. Utiful!  Thank goodness it's not the summer months, I can't imagine having this swelling and the heat on top of it. My hips feel like an 80 year woman's.  I'm afraid if I bend over I may just break a hip.  They pop and slip in ways I didn't know was possible. If I sleep (try to sleep I should say) wrong on one, It will take a few hours of very slow moving until it feels like its back where it should be and I can move around again. Even then, its sore and painful. Some nights I sleep with heat on my back/hips and ice packs on my feet. You can imagine how happy Jon is when he jumps in bed to find all the different temperatures waiting in different areas of the bed. Despite all this.. And more, I'm so happy right now.

Jon and I are so excited. We both cant believe how fast it has come. I love when Jon comes home and he has bags of baby things, not just clothes. He went out and bought a Paisley (its like a boppy, but more firm and has the paisley shape) because it will help him bottle feed.  He painted the whole room, without any help from me. Besides my professional pointers of course! The room is amazing! He even picked the color the room would be. When I have told him he doesn't have to do all this, I can help, he always says he needs to get things ready for his son. He loves doing it. He helps me organize over, and over..... and over again. He asks me what is on my crazy "deep clean before baby" list and picks which ones he will take care of. Which believe it or not, it's normally the harder ones.  I am so lucky to have him.

We have grown and learned a lot in the past couple of years. Everyone keeps telling me Jon will be a father when Jack gets here. I just smile.  Because while that was completely and totally true with the first pregnancy, with this one, he already is. It's more than just being excited, scared and nervous like the first. Its how he speaks. It's what he does. It's how he is planning. I don't know if anyone else would notice the subtle difference but me.  If you would have asked me then, I would have thought it was the same because of his excitement. It's not. I love him so much, I am so incredibly grateful for him.

This post went in a completely different direction!  Since I have made it to weekly appointments, I want to write them down. I want to remember what happened, and how we felt.

Yesterday was our 36 week appointment. For the first time in my pregnancy I actually had questions. Wrote them down and everything, I was pretty impressed with myself. I wont go over all of them, we all don't need to read all of that, but here are a couple of the fun random ones.

With the Holiday so close to the due date are you comfortable stripping membranes?
He will start stripping my membranes at our 38 week appointment. (Which standard if you want it done) We aren't counting on this, but with a little luck maybe we can get him here before Christmas.

Is he still breech? (I have been feeling like he isn't, and he is extremely low)
He found is head in the right position, and like I thought... Very low.  He is definitely getting ready to meet us. Any of you that know Jon, know how curious he is.  He asked how he could tell it was his head, and our doctor being as awesome as he is, told Jon to come try. He taught him how to find the head, and how to feel for the rest of the body as well.  I was fun to see Jon's face as he found the head. He said there was no mistaking what it was once you found it.

How big do you think he is?
After showing Jon the head and other body parts, he poked and prodded around for a little while.  Never a good sign when you have asked "How big is my baby?" He finally said he believes Jack is about Seven pounds already.. Maybe six and a half, but most likely seven.  That's when my eyes got big, my mouth dropped open and I said.. Great! Time to get him out.  He smiled, and said "What if I'm wrong and he is four pounds"...  "No, you're not wrong." He laughed, as he said "I don't want you to have a huge baby either."  All I keep thinking is I still have FOUR weeks! We really do love our doctor and have made a great relationship with him.

And just a couple random stats from the appointment.
Heartbeat: 128
Blood pressure:  ..Ummm, I don't remember it was good though.  Must have slipped my mind when I heard seven pounds....
Measuring: 37 cm so a week ahead this time, but who wouldn't when they are apparently growing a man child!?

Friday, November 16, 2012

Easiest Pregnancy Ever...

....bit me right in the dairy air. Last night I slept with a heat pack on my back and hips, and an ice pack on my feet and ank... I mean kankles. Didn't you all hear? I was asked to join the circus as the heffalump woman!! I declined, I didn't think it would be fair to leave Jon home while I was one the road.




But in all honesty, I still don't feel like I have room to complain. It has been a pretty awesome pregnancy. I can deal with five weeks of this right? Hmmm... I'll let you know in two weeks.


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