August is coming WAY to fast...

...And I don't know if I'm ready for it.

This post isn't really for anyone but me. I have been pushing this to the back of my mind all month. August 18, 2011 would have been our due date. Little did I know it would become a date I wanted to come and pass quickly for reasons other that expecting a little one. We are okay, I am okay. And we have had an amazing summer. Sure sometimes we get sad, but I think we have delt with it really well. I have watched other ladies who have miscarried shut themselves off. And pull away from friends who are expecting because "it's just too hard". I, on the other hand am so excited to see friends have there little ones! I can't wait to see them. Yes there are times I just watch them, and have sad feelings. But that doesn't changed how excited I am for them.
I guess I just thought I was okay, great even. Then I realized how close August was. All new feelings come back. I know I'm still okay. But I maybe didn't expect this next month to make me feel this way. It's just a month after all. It will come and go. It's just getting past it.
Something that EVERYONE asks us (which doesn't bother us) is "so are you guys planning on one soon then?" The answer is no. We would like a little family in the future. But I think maybe since it wasn't a "normal" miscarraige it kind of shook Me (us) up. Maybe shook isn't even the right word. We are just happy right now. And thats all that matters.