Moving On... And feeling very blessed

I have written a couple posts about the trials Jon and I have been through these past 6 months. It is now August 19th, 2011 at 12 AM. The 18th has come and gone. And I'm happy. I'm content. I'm blessed. Losing our baby has been a trial I wish we hadn't had to go through. But I'm glad we did. You may not understand me saying that. Of course we wish she had lived, but we have been made stronger. Jon and I have always been a "Super couple". The fact of the matter is, we just work well together. But no one tells you, or prepares you on how to work with the person you love most when you lose a baby together. On top of that, a baby that to most isn't even "real" yet. We didn't understand our emotions let alone how other peoples emotions would effect us in the early months.
The hard dates have come on and gone. Mother's day, Father's day, and our such anticipated Due Date. The last of them scared me. I worried about how I would feel. How I would feel towards three other friends who are also due, or have their angel here in their arms, if I would resent them for what they have and I lost.
My day was perfect. My day was filled with Love, Joy and Hope. I went with a dear friend of mine as she starts her journey to be a Mother, and all I felt was Hope. Hope for her, that everything works out for her. I went to visit another dear friend who brought her angel into the world two weeks ago, and all I felt was Joy. I was so Joyful she had this beautiful little girl in her life. And she was willing to let me in to see her. I came home to an amazing man. And felt more Love than any one person could possibly give out. But he did. And he has been there to hold my hand while bad news was given. To make laugh in times of complete sorrow. And to hold me close when the pain was to hard to laugh through.
Some may find it odd that two of the three highlights of my "Due Date" were spending it with a newly expecting Mother, and a beautiful baby and her Mother. But they were. If you would have told me 6 months ago this is what I would have done today. I would have thought you were crazy. I have gone full circle with my emotions, and this is the most peaceful place I have been in a long time.
I am so grateful for the plan I know is out there for Me and MY family. I will see my little one, and I will love her. She will have years and years of stored love for her. I know there may still be hard times. But today has shown me how far I have come. I'm grateful for that.
So now I'm happy. I'm content. And I'm BLESSED beyond measure.